Respect.

Respect. Do you have it? Until recently I hadn't realized what I was missing from my friends and family. Why every time we talked about me and my life, I would get this feeling that put a hole in my stomach and, it seemed, judgement in their faces. I thought it was because I wasn't appreciated. But, I have plenty of people who appreciate me. I can think of one person in particular that doesn't seem to appreciate me when I know for a fact that they do. The point is, I wasn't missing appreciation. I was missing respect. When I figured it out, the hole only got deeper.

To my own personal surprise, I wasn't angry or upset when I found out. In fact, it made me think of all the times growing up when my dad would say that we didn't respect him. That the things we sometimes did or said was disrespectful. To be completely forthright, I grew up despising the word respect. To me it had lost its true meaning and had become a word to avoid. I felt like it was being demanded of me and if you knew me at all, you would understand that I don't like to be bossed around.

You can't demand respect, and I knew this. So, when I had people telling me that I should respect someone I always asked the ultimate question,'Why should I?' In all  honesty, they probably did deserve respect, but, I was too stubborn and the very thought of the word was so ill-conceived in my mind that I refused to give it to them. I would hold a sort of grudge against the person who demanded my respect. It would almost seem as though it would run out, so I had to be very frugal with all that I had. Yes, I knew the meaning of the word and I knew how it felt to respect someone, but it was a rare event, indeed when I did accept the happening.

Finally, I got older and realized that respect wasn't something to spend but something to give. Especially to people who earned it. I realized, also, that I had people who did respect me for certain things that I'd achieved, but I didn't have it where it really counts. Or, at least from the one person that I really needed it from. Myself.

In my eyes I haven't really done anything to gain respect. I don't deserve it. And, I guess  if that was the case, I needed to try harder, so that I could earn it. But, it didn't help that I had people reminding me of why I shouldn't respect myself. They didn't know that's what they were doing, and I'm sure if they did, they may not have said anything. But, it's a good thing that they did. It makes me try to achieve my goals more efficiently. It doesn't matter how much respect you have from other people, if you don't have any saved back from yourself, you're going to have that hole in your stomach until you figure out a way to get it. Believe it or not, but you have a bar set for yourself. If you don't reach that bar, you may have that hole in your stomach for a while. The best thing you can do, is try your best to do something you can be proud of. For me, it's this.

Can You Handle the Truth?

You think you know what someone's opinion about you is until you hear them talk about you behind your back, or find out what they said from someone else. Some of it could be good and some could be bad.

For instance, you could have a family member that teases you and puts you down all the time for fun and then find out that, really, they think you're smart and actually like your company. You may have a friend that you're pretty fond of hanging out with and find out later that they think you're self absorbed and negative. It may even just be a friendly acquaintance and you find out that they think you're a great influence on people or that they think you're just a little weird.

What do you do with your new information? Do you confront the person and tell them that you know the truth? Or do you even care? If you don't care, the best decision would be to leave it alone. I guess it all depends on the situation...

Let's say you do care. If the truth is positive, if it makes you feel better about yourself, are you nicer to that person? But, let's talk about the latter... What if the truth is negative? Do you try to avoid that person, become their friend, or do you try to improve their view of you by changing a little? I don't think there's a right way to handle the situation, but there, sure as seasons, is a wrong way.

It's probably never a good idea to overreact to the situation. Confronting them with all kinds of accusations and I-found-out-what-you-said's is a sure way to get a negative reaction out of them. They had no idea you would find out that they said those things about you, it may be good to give them a chance to defend themselves. And, it may not be fair of them to seemingly judge your character with no foreseen consequence, but who are you to do the same to them? By overreacting aren't you slightly judging their character by what they said?

If you really want to address the situation, maybe calmly approaching the person and asking them why they said it would be best. There might be a chance you'll get a more positive response.. Maybe he/she was having a bad day and wanted to complain about someone and you just happened to come up in conversation, it could happen that they saw something they didn't quite understand, or had a bad impression of you and didn't know your true character. Hearing the person out could really help clear things up for both of you and give them a chance to apologize and maybe you can become better friends. This conversation might even lead to you defending yourself and saying things that need to be said to persuade this person that their view may have been flawed. It could also give you the opportunity take some friendly criticism on how to better handle a certain situation.

Then again, maybe the person just doesn't like you... Hey, not everyone can get along.

Image courtesy of  inanotherlifetime.wordpress.com/

Hangin' with Friends

Nothing beats hanging out with your closest friends. Even if you get a few scratches and bruises from it.

We explored a cave. Not today. It was more like a few months ago. Anyway, normally we would just sit around inside and play games or sit around a fire and indulge ourselves in the mysterious cuisines of the refrigerator or something our parents make for us(basically anything we can find, create, or order) and s'mores. But, that day we actually decided to do something...painful. It was fun though. Afterwards, we went back to my house, watched Smallville, and ate Long John Silvers. We talked, laughed, made fun of each other, and had a good time.

To be totally and completely honest, I love my friends. The more time I spend with them the more I want to hang out with them. One of the things that some people don't understand about my friends and myself is our humor. We are always making fun of each other and giving each other a hard time. We're all very close, so we know it's a joke. Of course if something is said that is taken wrong, deep apologies are made. We try not to cross any lines in our facetious conversations. But, we can also have earnest conversations. Honesty is pretty prominent in our group and we all take things genuinely well.

When new people come into the group, they like to ease their way in. Unfortunately for them, we act like we've known them our entire lives and joke around with them like they've been there for a thousand years and we just decided to pick up on a conversation we never started. That's what I love about us.

Monkey's Observe

Have you ever heard the phrase "Don't blame me, I'm just a kid!"? Of course you have! WE ALL HAVE! This is the excuse children use (or we give them) when they don't know exactly what they're doing. What they also don't understand is the consequences that come with their actions. But...

In today's day and age, children have more knowledge of things than we think.. They've absorbed matters we didn't know about 'til were at least 11 to 13. Who do we blame for their extensive knowledge?


We could blame the parents, but even parents get surprised by their children and wonder where they learn some of the things they do and say. We could accuse our schools, but they call the parents every time their child behaves inappropriately. What about the mentality of the child? If we incriminate the kid's mind, we don't have to blame anyone. Do we blame media such as television or the Internet? Aren't the parents suppose to monitor that stuff? Where would the child have learned to perform or communicate in such a manner? How would he/she have known to act this way? These questions depend on what the child observes in the start of their lives.


Now, I'm not going to go into my childhood. Instead I'm going to explain some things that I've observed myself.

When I was at the store one day, I saw a woman carrying her son with an angry expression on her face, she said,"Don't you ever say that again!" and the child replied, crying,"But, you say it all the time!!" and continued to bawl.
I mentioned that because, children are always doing and saying things that make us aware of ourselves. Around kids, we have to actually think before we do or speak, meaning we need to be aware of ourselves before they become aware of us.

There's also a saying that goes, 'monkey see, monkey do'. What we fail to realize, sometimes, is that the said 'monkey' observes, thus 'monkey makes a fool of you'. Children may see what we do, but they also observe and analyze our behavior without notice. Whether we realize it or not, we can control how children act. We just need to control how we act, first.

Excercise? I say...NO!

Even though there's is nothing happening today, I've been blogging a lot. I think I'm just trying to fill in posts since this is my first blog. My sister wants me to exercise...I don't want to. She doesn't seem to care though. She's calling me fat and she's trying to get me to work off my "EXTRA POUNDS"! That is exactly what she said. And Twinzee if you're reading this...I'm not going to exercise!
It's a waste of time and I don't need to. You might...I don't. NO! NO! I won't GO! NO! NO! I won't GO!.....if you people are at all confused...I understand. I would be too. Just pay no attention to this post.
I don't even like it.