Writer's Block is Serious for a Writer.

I think that the reason I haven't been updating my blog is because I haven't had anything very interesting on my mind. Here lately, I haven't been inspired to write anything worth my time and effort. It's sort of a pressing issue on my life right now.
I used to have such a passion for writing, I would come up with something new every week or even on a daily basis. But, as though I'm a dried up sponge, I have no water to take in or squeeze out anymore. I need an epiphany.

What do you write about when you have writer's block? (Nothing?) Actually, writer's block. That's the point of this post isn't it? And, it's good to hear from you again, by the way.

I don't know how, but for some reason, I have a lot of views on my blog page. Maybe it's just a bunch of trolls just skimming by to see if there's anything they can spam... or maybe, just maybe, there might actually be intelligent life out there trying to see if I've updated in the past two years. Sadly, this is my first post in a very long time. For good reason though.

For the past two years, I have been trying to get myself out of a rut. Every time I think I'm out, I've fallen into another one. It's a vicious cycle, really. (So, you haven't made it out yet?) No, not yet. I've still managed to get myself into yet another rut, it seems. (How awful that must feel..) You're so nice to consider my feelings! Yes, well, it's not the worst rut I've been in yet.

So, does this mean I'll start posting again? Maybe.. That all depends. I've actually found the motivation to write today, perhaps I'll find it tomorrow.

Youtubin'.

So, I was on Youtube and an advertisement popped up that gives people the chance to have a legitimate  Youtube channel with the right production gear and everything.. I thought to myself, "How much fun would that be?" Instead of writing about all the stuff I think about, I could just tell the whole world while everyone puts a face to my name. (I can't decide whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing.. either way...) I decided to check it out.
*Click*
What? I need to put in my phone number? Crud. (For those who don't know...) I don't have a cellphone. Maybe I could put my mom's phone number in... No, for some reason, that seems immoral. Dang. Oh well. No Youtube awesomeness for me.
What do you guys think? Should I limit myself to my blog for now, so that I can learn to spend more time updating it? Or, have I worn my blog out and should start recording the conversations I have with myself for everyone to see?
YOU DECIDE. Because, I can't.

Oh, look! A fancy picture.

Thrust Back In Time! Could You Handle The Truth?!

Have you ever thought, "I definitely could have been born in an earlier time."? I'll answer that question for you. OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Everyone has. But, are we being honest with ourselves? Think about it... Nowadays, we have:
-Cellphones
-Toilet Paper
-Internet
-Deodorant
-Television
-Computers
-Shampoo
-Facebook
-Hot Water
-Sliced Bread
-Showers
-Soap
-Dishwashers
-Hospitals
-Hair Products
-Microwaves
-Washers and Dryers
-Toilets
-Air Conditioning
-Refrigerators and Freezers
-Tweezers
-Radio
-Razors
-Antibiotics
-Equality
-Vehicles
-The option to brush our teeth...
-Etc.

I think you get my point. We've become spoiled to our generation. For some, if they were inadvertently thrust back in time by some kind of  failed NASA experiment, they would adjust quickly to the environment. As for the rest of us... Probably not so much.
I've always said that if I were to go back in time to say... the twenties, I would fit in no problem. I would enjoy myself immensely. People have even told me that I look like I could be from the early nineteen hundreds. If I went back in time with no way to come back to the future, I think I might die. Literally. I would probably get shot by someone in a gang, or ingest dirty water and get some kind of infection that my immune system has never been trained to fight off and/or I would surely die of tuberculosis (which was very common back then).
I wouldn't be upper class either. Not even upper-middle class. I wouldn't even be middle class. It would be my luck that I would be out on the streets trying to get people to give me bread. (Maybe not that far...)
Then AGAIN! I have information from the future. My very existence would create a ripple effect in history anyways.. I might as well make it a drastic one, right? I'll invent the traffic light! The Stop sign! Other things! Then I will be know as the smartest woman in History! Either that, or men will just take my ideas and roll with them... Although, they weren't my ideas in the first place, so I wouldn't really have the right to complain.

ANYways... If you went back in time, what era do you think you would be able to adapt to in the easiest possible way? Do you think you would be able to live a long and happy life in that era? Do you think I forgot  anything in my list? Comment below and like my post. Thanks. (:

Respect.

Respect. Do you have it? Until recently I hadn't realized what I was missing from my friends and family. Why every time we talked about me and my life, I would get this feeling that put a hole in my stomach and, it seemed, judgement in their faces. I thought it was because I wasn't appreciated. But, I have plenty of people who appreciate me. I can think of one person in particular that doesn't seem to appreciate me when I know for a fact that they do. The point is, I wasn't missing appreciation. I was missing respect. When I figured it out, the hole only got deeper.

To my own personal surprise, I wasn't angry or upset when I found out. In fact, it made me think of all the times growing up when my dad would say that we didn't respect him. That the things we sometimes did or said was disrespectful. To be completely forthright, I grew up despising the word respect. To me it had lost its true meaning and had become a word to avoid. I felt like it was being demanded of me and if you knew me at all, you would understand that I don't like to be bossed around.

You can't demand respect, and I knew this. So, when I had people telling me that I should respect someone I always asked the ultimate question,'Why should I?' In all  honesty, they probably did deserve respect, but, I was too stubborn and the very thought of the word was so ill-conceived in my mind that I refused to give it to them. I would hold a sort of grudge against the person who demanded my respect. It would almost seem as though it would run out, so I had to be very frugal with all that I had. Yes, I knew the meaning of the word and I knew how it felt to respect someone, but it was a rare event, indeed when I did accept the happening.

Finally, I got older and realized that respect wasn't something to spend but something to give. Especially to people who earned it. I realized, also, that I had people who did respect me for certain things that I'd achieved, but I didn't have it where it really counts. Or, at least from the one person that I really needed it from. Myself.

In my eyes I haven't really done anything to gain respect. I don't deserve it. And, I guess  if that was the case, I needed to try harder, so that I could earn it. But, it didn't help that I had people reminding me of why I shouldn't respect myself. They didn't know that's what they were doing, and I'm sure if they did, they may not have said anything. But, it's a good thing that they did. It makes me try to achieve my goals more efficiently. It doesn't matter how much respect you have from other people, if you don't have any saved back from yourself, you're going to have that hole in your stomach until you figure out a way to get it. Believe it or not, but you have a bar set for yourself. If you don't reach that bar, you may have that hole in your stomach for a while. The best thing you can do, is try your best to do something you can be proud of. For me, it's this.

Can You Handle the Truth?

You think you know what someone's opinion about you is until you hear them talk about you behind your back, or find out what they said from someone else. Some of it could be good and some could be bad.

For instance, you could have a family member that teases you and puts you down all the time for fun and then find out that, really, they think you're smart and actually like your company. You may have a friend that you're pretty fond of hanging out with and find out later that they think you're self absorbed and negative. It may even just be a friendly acquaintance and you find out that they think you're a great influence on people or that they think you're just a little weird.

What do you do with your new information? Do you confront the person and tell them that you know the truth? Or do you even care? If you don't care, the best decision would be to leave it alone. I guess it all depends on the situation...

Let's say you do care. If the truth is positive, if it makes you feel better about yourself, are you nicer to that person? But, let's talk about the latter... What if the truth is negative? Do you try to avoid that person, become their friend, or do you try to improve their view of you by changing a little? I don't think there's a right way to handle the situation, but there, sure as seasons, is a wrong way.

It's probably never a good idea to overreact to the situation. Confronting them with all kinds of accusations and I-found-out-what-you-said's is a sure way to get a negative reaction out of them. They had no idea you would find out that they said those things about you, it may be good to give them a chance to defend themselves. And, it may not be fair of them to seemingly judge your character with no foreseen consequence, but who are you to do the same to them? By overreacting aren't you slightly judging their character by what they said?

If you really want to address the situation, maybe calmly approaching the person and asking them why they said it would be best. There might be a chance you'll get a more positive response.. Maybe he/she was having a bad day and wanted to complain about someone and you just happened to come up in conversation, it could happen that they saw something they didn't quite understand, or had a bad impression of you and didn't know your true character. Hearing the person out could really help clear things up for both of you and give them a chance to apologize and maybe you can become better friends. This conversation might even lead to you defending yourself and saying things that need to be said to persuade this person that their view may have been flawed. It could also give you the opportunity take some friendly criticism on how to better handle a certain situation.

Then again, maybe the person just doesn't like you... Hey, not everyone can get along.

Image courtesy of  inanotherlifetime.wordpress.com/

Ramblings of a Grammar Nazi.

Isn't it interesting how illiterate people can be? You don't have to be a "Grammar Nazi" to appreciate a well written sentence. I'm always seeing comments on thoughtless posts on facebook about how irritating it is when the OP doesn't use proper grammar. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who gets a metaphorical brain aneurysm each time I see someone using the word 'sense' in place of the word 'since' or 'your' instead of 'you're'. And, boy, does it get under my skin a little when I see a paragraph with no capitalization, punctuation or correct spelling. Don't even get me started on people who say words incorrectly.

I'm always correcting people. I know I shouldn't, since there are points in my life when I, myself, need to be corrected. Though, I can't seem to help it. There are times when I have to breath through the urge to correct someone and just let it go.

It feels like watching a wounded bird walk away. You want to go to it, patch it up the best you can and send it on it's way to heal. But, that's never the case is it? Once you send it away, it's not grateful for the help at all. The dumb bird scratches off the bandages you, so carefully, placed upon the wound and goes on living it's life broken, bleeding, and stupid.You can only hope that there's someone else willing to help the poor bird better than you did.

I guess that would be a bit of an extreme metaphor, but you understand what I'm saying -at least I hope you do. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Challenge Accepted.

It's been quite a while since I last posted. And to be honest, I'm not putting a lot of thought into this particular post.

I don't consider myself an awesome writer and I definitely don't consider myself anywhere near an author. For me this isn't a diary for everyone to see, because I would never post my personal thoughts online. This blog is a kind of outlet for myself. Not an emotional one where I share all the drama in my life. To be perfectly forthright, I don't have anything close to drama in my life. (I'm pretty boring.) No, this is where I'm free to talk about what ever I want without being interrupted.

Growing up with two headstrong sisters and a verbal father, it was hard to get a word in. So, I became a private person. I realized that whatever I had to say, would only cause problems for me, because, like my father, I'm a straightforward person.

This is where I get to finally say what's on my mind, but, not in a way where I tell every single thought that passes through my head. (That's why we use: facebook/twitter.)

It happens like this:

Random idea: *deep British voice* Hello, darling.

Me: Well, hi! Why I haven't I thought about you?

Random idea: I haven't a clue, I'm always right here.

Me: I should write about you while you're here...

Random Idea: What an astounding revelation! But, I'll make it bloody difficult.

Me: Challenge accepted.

And that's about it. I love it when it happens out of the blue because, usually, when I try to think of something to write about I end up coming out as dry as a sponge in the desert and I end up picking the brains of other people. Then, I may not even use their ideas. I'm a little picky in that way.